Twinkie? 05.29.2o16

(Disclaimer:Not my own picture, taken from the beloved internet-never actually had a Twinkie before)

No this blog post isn’t about the infamous dessert Twinkies, but more about the not-so-obvious racial slurs that shouldn’t go unnoticed. Micro-aggression is a very real thing that many people even myself didn’t realize had a name until my good friend pointed it out to me.

A little background about myself; my nationality is Canadian however my heritage stems from China. I was born in China, but raised here in Canada just like any other Canadian kid.

Micro-aggression didn’t really occur to me until I was old enough to understand what was happening.

There are many ways that mircro-aggression affects me on a daily basis (not only me but many people).

A few common phrases that are signs of micro-aggression are:

  • “Where are you from?” (<- most common)
  • “You look super asian when your hair is like that”
  • “CHING-CHANG-CHONG, I can speak Chinese”
  • “Let me guess what ‘kind’ you are”
  • “What kind of asian are you?”
  • “NI HAO !” (in a super racist accent)

(These are only a few things people say, there are many however these are sometimes overlooked)

Many people when they say these don’t realize that they are being offensive, and I feel it’s up to me to bring it their attention. I shouldn’t feel ashamed, I shouldn’t feel anxious that someone is going to call me “over-sensitive”.

But why are these things offensive? Let me explain.. 

Working in a restaurant, I work with the general public (sucks) and the most common one I hear is “where are you from?”. I do understand that people may or may not have the intention of being offensive so I always initially assume that they aren’t (at first). Therefore a common response would be, “oh I’m Canadian, I was raised on Montreal”. Following that the person may say “oh that nice, blah blah blah” which is polite response and in that case I can talk all day. However, if their response is “oh no what I meant is where are you really from?” that’s when I know it’s micro-aggression. All I hear is “you look asian so you must be from somewhere else”. Some may say this is an exaggeration but many of those people who say I’m exaggerating are not victims of this discrimination themselves.

Why do you need to know my nationality in order to interact with me? Why didn’t you ask that question to my caucasian coworker? How often do you hear someone asking a caucasian man/women “where are you really from?”?

“You look super asian when your hair is like that” What’s wrong with looking asian?

“CHING-CHANG-CHONG, I can speak Chinese” kinda obvious one

“Let me guess what ‘kind’ you are”  didn’t realize guessing my nationality is some kind of game to you

“What kind of asian are you?” I would never ask a caucasian person, what kind are you? .. works the other way around too

“NI HAO !” (in a super racist accent) When people do this it means they automatically assumed I’m Chinese without knowing anything about me. Would you randomly start saying Italian words to a caucasian person without knowing anything about them?

I can discuss for hours on end on how this particular question is very offensive however if you’re interested in the topic, just Google micro-aggression for yourself. It doesn’t just affect Asians, but many races, genders, sexual orientations… etc

– T

** These are my personal feelings, I am not forcing anyone to feel the same way. I just thought I would share my experiences in hopes to educate others and like I said; there are many victims to micro-aggression**



This is another funny little story of the strange dudes that seem to be interested in me (my good friend back in Montreal loves to joke and say I have a special kind of pheromone that attracts these types of dudes). I’m sure we girls (and guys) can relate to having someone try to put unwanted moves on you. This story is a perfect addition to the mini series of sad and awkward old man suitors in my life.

I’m currently on a 6-week long Europe trip with a friend and I’m writing this looking at my half eaten sea food paella (which was hardly eaten because it was awful) in Barcelona. However, this particular event took place in Paris.

Our first night in Paris we were lucky enough to make a friend from Washington. For the sake of this story we’ll call her Anna. We met her on the street as were walking to the metro. She was on her way to do a bus tour when she stopped us and said she saw us as we were checking in and asked if we’d be interested in coming out with her that night. We were really excited because one of the personal goals for our trip is to make friends. And here we are walking and minding our own business and boom! Instant friend! It was awesome.

That night we went out to a speak easy bar which to get to you need to go through a pizza restaurant which we thought was pretty cool. This is where we met Ethan*. He too was someone from the hostel that our friend Anna met .

A little about Ethan: He’s tall, like basketball player height and very skinny. He has shoulder length thin shaggy blonde hair and a mole on the right side of his cheek. He’s from California and traveling with his younger sister on vacation as they’ve recently come into some money after selling their family company to a massive corporation. He’s not totally hideous but he’s also not a Greek god, however, this isn’t the problem. The problem is this MAN is 31 years old!

I don’t mean to emphasize the age difference to offend anyone with an 11 year age difference in their relationships; I really don’t. But this is a difference that makes me uncomfortable and I know I can’t be the only one feeling this way.

This MAN tried on multiple occasions to stick his tongue in my mouth. The first time was at the hostel bar in Paris where we spent most of our nights because all of the new friends we’ve made we’re there and the hostel workers were super nice (and good looking). Because my traveling buddy wanted to see the cute bar tender/concierge guy from Portugal working at the hostel we decided to stay until the bar closed (2am). While we were there a man came up to our (my traveling friend from home , Ethan and I) table and first asked my friend and I if he could buy us some drinks. When we refused, he then started to flirt with Ethan which confused us all until the moment he walked away from us and back to his friends.

Later in the night, me being the facetious little devil that I am asked that same flirty man to take a pic with Ethan as he was walking by our table. Hehehe This man seemed as if he was going to take a normal picture and Ethan was indifferent about it so it was nothing much until this man tries to kiss Ethan! He only got the cheek but he came dangerously close to the lips. The whole thing was strange and Ethan was so not into it. Not in a homophobic way, he was just surprised and uncomfortable about it, basically a foreshadowing of the next event.

After the offense this man walks away leaving us all with shocked but amused faces. I felt bad for making him take the pic but was still laughing. Ethan then came closer to me as I was apologizing and said something along the lines of “wow, now it’s your turn.” And then he brought his face dangerously close to mine and I had no choice but to sweeeerrrvee that shit. He sort of tried again so I needed to say no. It was awkward but the timing was right because the bar closed and we went back up. Oh did I mention we were all a little tipsy? At the time we thought it was all freaking hilarious.

The second time happened in a scene that would have been amazing, lovely and romantic if I was with someone I really liked and maybe even loved. Instead, I was with two native Parisians, my bestie, Ethan’s sister, and of course Ethan. It was a decent group, these people we’re our friends and we were all having a good time watching the Eiffel Tower at night and getting our pictures until this fool tries to kiss me again.

Once again I had to turn my head. This time was even more awkward though because he turned my head with his finger in a gesture that would normally be really cute but with this boy it was just creepy. And again I had to say no, even when he asked “no, really?” I had to be clear. The night was hella awkward for me after that. But I learned something from this experience:


1. Use your senses! I don’t know what it is but I feel like most people have a sort of sixth sense when it comes to knowing when a kiss is coming. If you have this sense and you’re aware of it, use it! If you can leave, leave. Walk away or make a polite excuse. It also helps if your friend is around. Mine wasn’t at the second attempt which I think is why he was so bold with this attempt after already being rejected.

2. Don’t make eye contact. As soon as you feel like you’re about to be kissed and you’re not feeling it for whatever reason avoid at all cost looking this person in the eyes. If you can get away with it, their faces as well. Although, this may not always work, you may have your face moved as you’ve seen above. Which brings us to step 3.

3. Be very clear. Clarity and firmness does not always equal rudeness. If you know you don’t want to kiss this person, move and say no. You need to be clear and firm with what you want. If not then you’re really doing yourself and this person a disservice. You’re leading them on and you’re doing something you know you don’t want to do. Honesty really is the best policy. And if they don’t like it and make a fuss… F*ck them.

– K

*names have been changed


A little about us part 2 05.06.16

Hiya Internet!

I’m the other half of this friendship duo, and like T I’m also 20 and dealing with the awkward and confusing stage of being a young adult with less autonomy than I want but more autonomy than I can handle. Get the confusion there? Yeah neither do I, but that’s basically what this blog is about; a way to share a little bit of our midlife experience in the hopes that we will figure it out and maybe even (although this might be over-reaching a tad) helping some fellow readers. We have no real agenda other than that but know that everything that we write about is true and honest. We may have to change a few names and obvious locations as this is the Internet after all! These experiences can be awful sometimes but also amazing and exciting. While we still ultimately go through the awful moments that any young adult has our experience is completely unique from to each other’s; yet they still basically do the same thing which is contribute to what we call our quarter life crisis.

Hello Internet! 05.02.2016

Hello internet!

I feel like there’s so much pressure since it’s my first post EVER. As the first post, I’d like to tell you a little bit about myself (I’ll let my friend tell you about herself when she pleases). I am currently 20 years old and like most 20 year olds, I go to school, I work, I have a boyfriend and I go out with friends (I’m totally normal). We started this blog because we wanted to express and share the struggles we go through as young adults. We deal with not knowing what to do with the rest of our lives, we work in customer service (and we all know how shitty that is) and we both endured terribly embarrassing moments.